Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Contrary to popular belief, I, Dog Henly, don’t need any clothes other than the ones god gave me. Look, I’ve been around a long time and quite frankly I don’t know why all of the sudden I have to start wearing a rain coat when I go outside. Who doesn’t like the smell of a wet dog? That’s right, no one. And sunglasses? Oh boy, do hate wearing sunglasses. Why would I need sunglasses when I spend most of my time staring at the ground looking for something tasty to eat? (Ok, it doesn’t have to be tasty just as long as it’s edible – or inedible I guess, I’m really easy) Check out this picture of my friend Albert that someone posted on the website http://www.dogsinduds.com/

This guy used to be the king of the block in my old neighborhood. He ruled the streets with an iron fist. Sure he’s a little guy but he’s got a bit of a Napoleon complex. He was like Joe Pesci in any Martin Scorsese movie. He’s steal your kibble just as soon as look at ya. But now look at him, the poor guy. Ever since some stinkin’ human put a hoodie on him he won’t leave the apartment. He just sits at home all day on his favorite doggie bed staring off into space, muttering over and over, “Get this thing offa me…get this thing offa me…I used ta be somebody…get this thing offa me”

I’m just saying he’s a shadow of his former self and it’s all due to the clothes. Us dogs all realize that it’s a human invention. If God had wanted us to wear clothes he wouldn’t have allowed us to grow our own. So next time it’s raining or it’s a wee bit cold outside, know that we can handle it. We have reputations to uphold. You wouldn’t want me putting dog-ears on you before you go to work would you? Or how about I make you a lunch of some Purina dog chow? Dogs and people are different and that’s what makes the world such a beautiful place.

Dog Henly Out!

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